Panic attack...

Gosh... I think I might just have a little too much on my plates...

Mon: SS trip to fort canning and the National Museum.

Tues(Today): Study for MLE4203 mids..

Wed: 2 interviews... OCBC at noon and IPPFA at 1600..

Thurs: Study for MLE4203/ MLE4202

Fri: Career fair in the day, wedding logistic support at night...

Sat: Wedding logistics duty...

Sunday: church in morn... Study MLE4202...

Next Monday: MLE 4203&4202 mid terms...

Conclusion...... Looking in all ways, I'm quite dead...


Pray for me people... =(

First job interview....

Hmmm... I am greedy.. I really want a banking job... But i want a safety net to fall back in if i do not get it...

Tech Semiconductors... Procurement... I do hope i get an offer...

Like i told sebas... Being offered a job is always better than not being offered one.... Right?

So... I hope things go well... May He light my way. =)

God Bless!
Khengsoon....

Keeping myself sane.

Nope... I do not mean physical strength which i think i would need much help with in the coming IPPT. Haiz.... 2.4km... The bane of my existence. The one thing that stands in my way to a silver and even a pass.

This week has been good. Left with 2 more samples with all those that require rework done, i'm a bit pleased with myself. Time is not on my side. But who cares, if you're not with me, i'll just race faster against you.

*Rambles*

My MLE4203 paper is about done. Not sure whether what i have written is what Prof He wants but, its better to get things done and edit later rather than be rushing to get it done last minute. The topic for SS first paper is out. Guess i will use my entire recess week mugging for my numerous midterms and settling this paper. Set. Backlog of tutorials are almost cleared this week, except for MLE4203. I guess i have to start staying back in school already. 

Someone told me that next week is recess week. Caused me to panic realising my FYP is nowhere near the thesis writing stage and i have like 3 midterms? and papers to write.....

Who says MSE is not stressful? The amount of time i spend in school or in IMRE....

Who says our design project is easy? Making a window is easy? A self-cleaning window? Wait till you have to come out with the technology and the technique to make it and then do an expt on it.

Ok... This is exactly the feeling i felt last semester.

SCREWED.

Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year had been a holiday which i sort of enjoy as i get to see relatives who i really rarely see. They include people who took care of me and really brought colours to my life when i was young. Its always the case where they will tell us to come visit them when we have the time but we end up only seeing them during chinese new years.

Maybe i have gotten old. Maybe i am no more nonchalant about family ties. I mean... Everyone's really ageing and this can be seen literally from every little wrinkle on everyone's faces. Who would have thought that i would have lines on my face too? As what my cute freshie pointed out, i already have laugh lines on my face... Thanks ar.. Jasmine... =)

This year is different. I am, as quoted from louelle, a quarter of a decade old already. I think... God's plan on how my life is going to be like might be getting a bit clearer now.

I have seen life on both sides. The really well-to-do side of my family, the doing-ok side and lastly, the really saddening part of my family tree.

Firstly, my paternal side....

I just realise that the Gor Bo who i have been calling are my granddad's sisters. 3 of them actually but 1 of them is in johore and thus i do not see her. Nevertheless, i think they are really doing very well as they do not have any worries which i can think of. I think their families are doing really well and i think this is why they seem really well. I guess the only thing that might bug them a bit might be the loneliness that comes with the losing of their partners who are already passed on now. Children have their own family, some aboard in US, some busy doing what they are doing and nevertheless, i guess they still get to see them often. =) So... These 2 gor bo, my granddad's sister, finally i got the relationships right... Haha.. =)

Peh gong! My granddad's elder brother. I think they're the coolest side. I mean.. They really doted on me. Hahaha... I guess the highlights of the first half of my life were mainly crafted by them. Being the nonchalant me, i never knew what they worked as. Weird right... Hahaha.. I just never asked. However, i just found out that i think besides my 小姑, all my uncles and aunties are NOT working anymore. Hmmm... Ok... I am just as stunned. I mean... Besides the mentioned, they are 3 uncles and 1 aunt... Apparently my dad says that they have no need to work anymore... They are already living comfortably and have retired since they are not married. I always knew they were doing very well, i never knew they were doing this well. I guess... I am really happy for them. They are really nice and good people, they got what they deserve... Maybe not on the "being single" part, but ya... 

Peh gong is going strong. Ever since his stroke and lost of mobility functions of the right side of his body, i think he has gotten really strong. He fractured his right thigh during a fall which caused him to have a shortened right leg, but guess what, he has the ability to walk now with a platformed shoe. His hand had gotten really strong from pushing his own wheelchair though! I tested him with a handshake. Not bad at all. =D

Here, i come to my Ar gong's branch of the tree. Well... I am really clueless on how my family is doing though. Hmmm... I have a latest and youngest cousin. His name is Colin and i am exactly 24 years older than him! Goodness. Seriously, when i see him, i am at a loss on how to play when him anymore. He is my youngest uncle's son... Oh well... I will find out how to play with him when he's around 3 years old... With the exception of my eldest uncle, my dad's siblings have all started a family and have their own places already. I think many will start to think my granddad has gotten a bit weird but i think he's gotten a bit cuter. Haha.. He bought all these 10 casettes for 1 buck in sungei road and started playing them when we were having our reunion dinner and when people visited. I thought it was hilarious as everyone was puzzled as they din't know what my granddad was doing. I think... Seeing him being so old.... Everyone just laughed it off. =)

All in all.. I think... My paternal side is indeed blessed. 

On the other extreme, my maternal side is just saddening...

1 younger sister, 2 older brothers, 2 younger brothers my mum has. I never got to know any other branches higher up in the family tree as my maternal granddad passed on even before i was born. On the contrary from my paternal side, none of my uncles and aunties on this side even had the chance to finish primary school education. My dad always said that my mother's side was really poor and without the chance and ability to study, it led to a vicious cycle of the poor being even poorer.

The 1st to 3rd uncles are all jobless. 1st uncles gets bullied all the time when he was working as dish clearer in kopitiams all because he is a bit slow. When my grandma was going to pass away, she told my 1st uncle to stop working as she cannot bear the thought of him being bullied around outside. So, he left the job and became unemployed. My 2nd uncle suffered some emotional trauma which he never recovered from. So, he just lies on bed and speaks to himself the whole day. I just found out, this chinese new year, that he might have lost his sight. So my 1st uncle is taking care of him now everyday. All these, is just too depressing for me to see.

I just found out too, that my 3rd uncle is unemployed. The worst thing is that he is married so there's 2 mouths to feed. He's got a 1 room HDB i think which he was intending to pay with instalments BUT when he declared himself as unemployed, he was demanded to pay the whole sum off instead before he can get the house. -.-" This is giving him a headache.

A tiny consolation comes when i look at my aunt's children. Ar girl and ar ting. Good that you are both doing ok. I know you read this and so i am going to say this here. Study hard! 

Coming to my youngest uncle, its one damn sian story. I just found out my youngest cousin boy is going blind too. Gosh... Luckily the sister is only wearing specs. My uncles seems to be able to make a living and provide for the family which is a really good thing. I mean, i just wonder how he does that when he is almost blind himself. Argh... This is just too depressing thinking of them.

Blindness... It would be better if they are hard of hearing, but to be blind is like missing out on almost everything. I have come to realise something. It is really hard to lose someone, but seeing them living in such conditions, its just damn saddening.

This Chinese New Year is nothing special from the others. Yet... I gained much more from this CNY. This year, i found out that its not only my family i have to take care of. I have to keep my maternal side in view too. 

Lastly, my family. =)

How do i know my relationship with my brothers are good? I know when i get up early in the morning and disturbed them so much that they wake up to bai nian. I admit i was really a nuisance but they just accepted my nonsense and played along with me... Just like old times... =) Looking at my granddad and peh gong, we just joked that i am going to be the Tua Peh Gong if we all had families. Gosh... I am so excited. =) I want to be a Peh Gong and Tua Peh Gong! Of cos... A ar gong also.. Hahahha! I guess this holiday brought us brothers closer =)

I guess i get my nonsense from my dad. How do i know this? He walked around on the first day of new year in his pants and crocodile polo shirt with his NEW crocodile belt happily. I knew he wanted to show off his new clothes and belt and so i asked," How much was the belt?"

"32 dollars!! 我是有钱人" He said happily.... i just rolled my eyes and after that, he went on bringing out a necktie asking me if he should put on the necktie with his polo shirt. As you can guess, i said,

"Wear lo.. Haha.."

So there he went putting on his necktie on his polo shirt and his belt and walked around the house parading.... I am just dumbfounded. Hahaha... I guess he was really happy to be wearing new clothes. Hahaha... Its the only time he bought new stuff though. Gosh... Somehow... Its good =) I feel happy that he is this happy. 

Lastly... My mum... She really complains a lot. She is always picking on something that she feels is wrong. Well... I think its just her. Amidst all the complaining, she's just one very compassionate woman. Quite understanding i guess? Haha... At least i got baptised with her approval. That is really something. Ok... When she's not menopausing, i think she's just funny also. And thus, my love to disturb her when i'm free or am taking a break from studying. Well... I can say something's the same between my dad and me... We just love to disturb my mum. =D

Well... Hong says that i am an elite. No... I think my family is just doing ok. I am pretty much contented with what i have. =)

Every new year is different for everyone. I pray and hope that there is one more constant thing besides change, and that is happiness and peace are with all who are just and kind. Amen.

God Bless,

Khengsoon

Fine...

Weather has been like that described in the bible.... The great flood. I guess the world needs some flushing cause its too dirty. All signs shows the coming of the day. Maybe its tomorrow... Maybe its in another decades time.

By then, i hope that i am still in Him, or should i say that i will be in Him. The bible says that the dead will be risen first. Its when body and soul reconcile again in the kingdom of God. 

Eternity is the truth, the promise of God if we believe in Him. If we follow His ways....

Many of my MSE friends were offered jobs in Tech Semiconductors on Sunday straight after interviews on Saturday. Many were offered engineering posts and Bernice got her procurement post in Tech too. This led to me thinking really hard...

"Why was i sorta jealous?" Hmmm... I guess its the fact that many dropped resumes together with me and they got the job straight away. So fast...

It is always greed that comes into play. Engineering posts is something that i might not even accept even if they want me. The thing is, there is no harm in having more offers for you to reject. I applied for procurement in Flash. I keep telling myself that it is a non engineering post in an engineering company. The thing is, is it really what i want?

What you want and what you do might not be the same thing. Its a universal fact. However, it is up to us also isn't it? Go can pave a road for us, but if we do not walk on it, He won't do anything too. As i was pondering hard on the problem of jobs, i recieved a call from OCBC for the first round of interview. I was excited.

Financial Protection Specialist. As i read the jobscope once again, it fits what i might want to do. Consulting clients on investments and financial plannings and also with insurance. This is what vincent is doing too. I mean... 

Chances to make money - Checked

Chance to not stay in office whole day - Checked

Interaction - Checked

Learn about financial planning and all - Checked

The thing is... I might want to go into emerging business partly to see how i can help with the business, either on expansion or diversifying. But no... Financial Protection Specialist is actually a good start i think.

Reasons why i want the job:

The job is about helping people help you. The nature of the job is that you help people plan for their future, even their families' and from there, when you make a sales, you get commission on top of your pay. Nice... The moolah... My principle in this. Its a win-win situation. I think its the same with all those in this trade too. Its just whether they need to meet quotas or not. I just think and hope that i do not need to meet sales target. I think i will still be very motivated to work hard though. 

Secondly. One of the most attractive thing about this job... The chance to go around. I never liked staying in offices. Air con gives me a headache at the end of the day. So ya... I rather be on the move. Ar... The great outdoors...

Thirdly, Interaction. I'm not an excessive extrovert. I do get a bit nervous meeting strangers. But ya... I really don't mind meeting and networking. Get my sorry ass around meeting people in formally and not in camps anymore. Haha.. 

Haiz.... Interview ar... First round... Means got few more rounds... I better ask vincent more... Cannot dress up and look like an idiot. At least my portfolio is almost done. =)

Reminder to self: Print unofficial transcript.

Well... 

God Bless,

Kheng Soon